I had been working later one evening at a visual effects studio in downtown Vancouver. My crew and I mostly worked on animation for television shows for streaming and network broadcast. Occasionally a show would need some extra time at the end of the day to make sure the animation was completed to a certain level so that other departments could keep working later into the evening, and this was one of those days.
I take the Skytrain in Vancouver, a 2-car electric train similar to a subway or an elevated train that many urban centres employ for public transit. Usually at quitting time the platform at Waterfront Station is quite full with fellow commuters and it's sometimes difficult to get a seat on the train, but being a little later this evening, there was one seat available, not too far from the train door. I slipped into it and was ready to settle down for a quiet ride home.
The gentleman in the seat beside me was a senior, an indigenous man, probably about five and half feet tall and dressed in blue collar clothing, not dirty or shabby, but seemingly not a man of great means. It wasn't too long until he leaned over to talk to me. He had a twinkle in his eye as he told me he was taking the train down to the River Rock Casino. He had $100 dollars and he was going to see if he could increase his lot. Last time, he had turned the same amount into over $1,000 dollars after a successful outing. I wished him good luck.
A few minutes later, he let me know he wasn't working any more. He used to work on fishing boats, but had been injured and now he was just too old to go back to that life. He missed it, being out on the ocean, working with the other men. Now, occasionally, he would work as a guide for hunters.
He lived downtown in a hotel. He had never learned to read. I wondered how that was even possible to survive in this culture in this day and age - what must he have endured to survive? If I didn't mind, could I tell him which station to get off the Skytrain? He wasn't really sure. "Of course," I told him. "I'll be switching trains one platform before you, so after I get off the train, yours will be the next stop. Then go downstairs one floor, through the turnstiles and turn right."
He smiled at me and nodded and we rode in silence for a few minutes. He sat there, never losing that twinkle. He possessed an apparent sense of humour, and perhaps even a hint of mischief. I could tell he was excited by this adventure and the potential for some big money.
I think he was getting more comfortable with me the longer we traveled. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm really not much of a threat to anybody and I was happy to talk with him. I wondered if others on the train might have intentionally avoided this vacant seat, seeing what could have potentially been a homeless man. Unpredictable? Dangerous? Simply awkward? Who can tell in a tube full of strangers? On a different occasion, my family and I had been traveling home later one evening after watching a movie at a screening room downtown and a few seats over somebody was in a corner seat smoking a crack pipe. We got off the train and waited for the next train. Vancouver has its share of problems like any other major city so sometimes it is easy to fall into a guarded position of being wary.
After a while he spoke to me again. "Do you want to know my name"?
"Sure," I said, "my name is Paul," wanting to make the first move.
He nodded an acknowledgement, then spoke his name in his native language which sounded strange and exotic, so much so, that it must have registered on my face that I was never going to able to say his name back to him, let alone remember it.
"My name means Thunderbird Spirt," he offered.
"That is a really great name!" I was sincere. C'mon, that is a seriously cool handle to have.
"It was given to me by an old man, an elder, when I was a boy."
"Well, I think that's a really interesting name to have."
He seemed pleased by this and turned to face forward again, but only for a minute.
"Would you like me to give you a name?" he asked.
What could I say to this? It's not like you turn down a guy on a train who offers to bestow on you what feels like a rare honour, so I looked at him directly and let him know.
"Yes, I think I'd like that very much."
He turned away from me and starting speaking quietly in his native tongue again. He closed his eyes. Was he praying? I do believe he was praying and this went on for several minutes. He was putting some real thought into finding the right name and this was a serious spiritual quest. Finally he stopped, and turned back to me.
"I have a name for you."
He uttered a few syllables saying them also in the language he'd learned from childhood. It sounded slightly familiar, but again, something I'd never be able to remember or pronounce. And again, he was gracious to quickly translate for me again.
"Your name means... Thunderbird Rock."
"Thank you," I said. "That is also a really great name!"
It was a moment that brought a smile to my face and he reciprocated. In that moment we were the Thunderbird brothers: Spirit and Rock.
My platform was coming up. It was time for me to get off the train. I reminded him that his was going to be the next stop for the casino and he thanked me.
As I watched the Skytrain pull away from the station with Thunderbird Spirit on board, I really hoped his evening would be as successful as it had been the previous time. I felt I was richer for having met him and for the honour he had sent my way.
Friday, April 3, 2020
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Griff's Guide to Navigating a Friend's Grief
Let's face it. Death is awkward.
Death is like that unpopular kid you didn't want to talk to at the high school dance because you knew that if you did, they would misconstrue your attention as something else and latch onto you forever. Sure, you want to be nice, but no one want's death hanging out with them at Tim Horton's with bits of jelly donut hanging off its chin.
The death of someone we know reminds us of our own mortality and frankly, a lot of us would rather just keep whistling as we walk past the cemetery, look the other way.
Still when, when loss does finally touch somebody we know, a friend or a loved one, there are some simple things you can do (and not do) to show that you care and that will really mean a lot to those left behind. If you're considered a friend by somebody, take some action that shows that your are worthy to be called that. Its really not that hard.
I've just spent some time observing this at my father-in-law's passing, a great guy who I'll personally miss greatly, and here's what I've observed.
• Do say something - even if its a brief note on Facebook or an email or voicemail, mention that you're sorry and your thinking and praying for those who are keenly feeling the loss. It means a lot.
Don't stay silent. Those berieved may wonder why you've abandoned them when they need to just feel that you're aware and thinking of them.
• Food is good - Food can be a great gift. With all the funeral details that need to be attended to, it can be so nice not to have to worry about food preparation. This week it was great having sandwiches, fruit trays, baked ham, etc. at the house. Of course in time, cooking is one of those day to day activities that can help life return to normal, but at funeral time it can be a distraction.
• Funeral Attendance - If you can attend, that's terrific. It will mean so much to your friend/family member to have you there. Its an hour or two of your life and you're there to support the living, not the deceased. Here's something really nice you can do if you're out of town or on vacation: In days past, people would often send a telegram but its so easy today to just send a fax or email to the funeral home. They'll be passed on to the family with any cards that are dropped off in person. Its simply a classy act for non-attenders, and don't worry, if you can't be there, they will understand, but way better to send even a short message of condolence rather than clam up.
Don't freak out - staying calm, strong, positive and supportive is really great. Leading the charge in weeping and wailing, not so much.
• Flowers and Donations - a gift 'in memory of' is appreciated, and in time will be seen and noted. Often families will prefer to have gifts sent to charities rather than have flowers sent. Either way, its a thoughtful thing to do if you're able.
• Follow Up - In the following days and weeks an email, post or phone call will mean a lot. Don't fall off the face of the earth thinking life will get back to normal. It will quickly for you, but those keenly experiencing a loss are going to feel the sting for quite a while. A brief, 'Thinking of you today. Hope you're doing well' mean the world. In my opinion: This is one of the most important things you can do. Loneliness and depression can just be around the corner and you can help kick it to the curb by just sending a brief message of encouragement.
There you go. Simple, easy things you can do that show you're a true friend when the going gets rough. Your friendship can really support somebody in a time of great pain by just letting that person know you're there.
Death is like that unpopular kid you didn't want to talk to at the high school dance because you knew that if you did, they would misconstrue your attention as something else and latch onto you forever. Sure, you want to be nice, but no one want's death hanging out with them at Tim Horton's with bits of jelly donut hanging off its chin.
The death of someone we know reminds us of our own mortality and frankly, a lot of us would rather just keep whistling as we walk past the cemetery, look the other way.
Still when, when loss does finally touch somebody we know, a friend or a loved one, there are some simple things you can do (and not do) to show that you care and that will really mean a lot to those left behind. If you're considered a friend by somebody, take some action that shows that your are worthy to be called that. Its really not that hard.
I've just spent some time observing this at my father-in-law's passing, a great guy who I'll personally miss greatly, and here's what I've observed.
• Do say something - even if its a brief note on Facebook or an email or voicemail, mention that you're sorry and your thinking and praying for those who are keenly feeling the loss. It means a lot.
Don't stay silent. Those berieved may wonder why you've abandoned them when they need to just feel that you're aware and thinking of them.
• Food is good - Food can be a great gift. With all the funeral details that need to be attended to, it can be so nice not to have to worry about food preparation. This week it was great having sandwiches, fruit trays, baked ham, etc. at the house. Of course in time, cooking is one of those day to day activities that can help life return to normal, but at funeral time it can be a distraction.
• Funeral Attendance - If you can attend, that's terrific. It will mean so much to your friend/family member to have you there. Its an hour or two of your life and you're there to support the living, not the deceased. Here's something really nice you can do if you're out of town or on vacation: In days past, people would often send a telegram but its so easy today to just send a fax or email to the funeral home. They'll be passed on to the family with any cards that are dropped off in person. Its simply a classy act for non-attenders, and don't worry, if you can't be there, they will understand, but way better to send even a short message of condolence rather than clam up.
Don't freak out - staying calm, strong, positive and supportive is really great. Leading the charge in weeping and wailing, not so much.
• Flowers and Donations - a gift 'in memory of' is appreciated, and in time will be seen and noted. Often families will prefer to have gifts sent to charities rather than have flowers sent. Either way, its a thoughtful thing to do if you're able.
• Follow Up - In the following days and weeks an email, post or phone call will mean a lot. Don't fall off the face of the earth thinking life will get back to normal. It will quickly for you, but those keenly experiencing a loss are going to feel the sting for quite a while. A brief, 'Thinking of you today. Hope you're doing well' mean the world. In my opinion: This is one of the most important things you can do. Loneliness and depression can just be around the corner and you can help kick it to the curb by just sending a brief message of encouragement.
There you go. Simple, easy things you can do that show you're a true friend when the going gets rough. Your friendship can really support somebody in a time of great pain by just letting that person know you're there.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The Train
The Trans-Siberian roared through the neighbourhood last night. You could feel its rumbling as it hurtled through. Our quaking house was squarely tied to the tracks as it ran over us.
Via satellite you could see the long curving arc with its caboose somewhere out of sight beyond Alaska, snaking over the frigid climes of northern Russia then loading tank cars over the Pacific and picking up a full head of steam as it plowed into the left coast. Side spurs were formed as it splintered onto sidings and sub-routes.
This wasn't a large flaked, gentle steam train excursion of childhood memories, but rather a full throttle, angry runaway and watching track-side earned you an icy, stinging face-slap. Occasionally the engine would surge forward, sharply jostling the anxious dreams of sleepers as bedroom windows rattled.
Its now morning and all that remains is white wreckage spilled across the landscape.
Rush hour is derailed.
Via satellite you could see the long curving arc with its caboose somewhere out of sight beyond Alaska, snaking over the frigid climes of northern Russia then loading tank cars over the Pacific and picking up a full head of steam as it plowed into the left coast. Side spurs were formed as it splintered onto sidings and sub-routes.
This wasn't a large flaked, gentle steam train excursion of childhood memories, but rather a full throttle, angry runaway and watching track-side earned you an icy, stinging face-slap. Occasionally the engine would surge forward, sharply jostling the anxious dreams of sleepers as bedroom windows rattled.
Its now morning and all that remains is white wreckage spilled across the landscape.
Rush hour is derailed.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Getting Credit Card Warranty Service Without Going Broke
Do you have a credit card that offers an "extended warranty"? Many cards, including Visa, Master Card and American Express offer this as a service.
It may not be worth your while. I'm sure VISA hopes it isn't.
Here's my (abbreviated) story so far:
I wanted to submit a warranty claim for a Canon all-in-one printer that stopped working in August. All-in-One printers are great in that they combine a printer, scanner and fax machine all into a single machine with many, many more parts that can go wrong.
I need pay to ship this 40lb. printer which is the size of an aircraft carrier,
destined for a local landfill, to you, so you the adjuster, can determine that its worthless and should
go to a landfill in Indiana?
Or in other words,
`Dear Potentially Scamming Cardholder,
We feel you may be in cahoots with the repair shop and might be trying to extort $140 out of VISA and
buy a house in the Bahamas.
Only we can determine junk when we see it'.
I had, in fact, kept the original box that I kept in the attic for warranty purposes so packed everything
up and $45 later in postage, what I was now calling, the Canon 140-BA ($140 Boat Anchor) was on its
way to Indiana.
...
Amazing. Its been another week and I haven't heard anything back from claims
department, even though I have post office confirmation that the package has indeed
arrived. I imagine it will take CSI Indiana some time to do a post-mortem on the all-in-one before it
gets a proper burial.
Total time wasted so far is 46 days, cost $75 so far, and its fairly plain that VISA wants
the process so be so cumbersome that people lose hope and bail out at some point.
Sorry VISA. I'm sticking it out just so I can break even on warranty service.
--
Update - Nov 13, 2010
Finally! A check finally arrived today for $174.99 which covers the original cost of the product plus the cost of the diagnostic, but not the cost of shipping the broken product back to the insurance assessor. Still, its $120 net dollars I can put towards a new printer, which this time will be an EPSON Artisan 810 all-in-one printer/scanner/fax machine. The date I first contacted VISA about this problem was August 17, 2010 so almost 3 months to get things sorted out. Glad its finally done.
It may not be worth your while. I'm sure VISA hopes it isn't.
Here's my (abbreviated) story so far:
I wanted to submit a warranty claim for a Canon all-in-one printer that stopped working in August. All-in-One printers are great in that they combine a printer, scanner and fax machine all into a single machine with many, many more parts that can go wrong.
I need pay to ship this 40lb. printer which is the size of an aircraft carrier,
destined for a local landfill, to you, so you the adjuster, can determine that its worthless and should
go to a landfill in Indiana?
Or in other words,
`Dear Potentially Scamming Cardholder,
We feel you may be in cahoots with the repair shop and might be trying to extort $140 out of VISA and
buy a house in the Bahamas.
Only we can determine junk when we see it'.
I had, in fact, kept the original box that I kept in the attic for warranty purposes so packed everything
up and $45 later in postage, what I was now calling, the Canon 140-BA ($140 Boat Anchor) was on its
way to Indiana.
...
Amazing. Its been another week and I haven't heard anything back from claims
department, even though I have post office confirmation that the package has indeed
arrived. I imagine it will take CSI Indiana some time to do a post-mortem on the all-in-one before it
gets a proper burial.
Total time wasted so far is 46 days, cost $75 so far, and its fairly plain that VISA wants
the process so be so cumbersome that people lose hope and bail out at some point.
Sorry VISA. I'm sticking it out just so I can break even on warranty service.
--
Update - Nov 13, 2010
Finally! A check finally arrived today for $174.99 which covers the original cost of the product plus the cost of the diagnostic, but not the cost of shipping the broken product back to the insurance assessor. Still, its $120 net dollars I can put towards a new printer, which this time will be an EPSON Artisan 810 all-in-one printer/scanner/fax machine. The date I first contacted VISA about this problem was August 17, 2010 so almost 3 months to get things sorted out. Glad its finally done.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Hybrid Diesel - its about time
I know its Peugeot and the last thing we remember seeing from that car company in North America were some pretty crummy vehicles that stopped being shipped here 1991, but they seem to have a great idea with a hybrid turbo diesel on tap for sale in Europe next year. The car purports to get somewhere between 62-74 mpg.
Now if somebody in North America could devise a stylish 7 passenger, 4000lb trailer towing turbo diesel hybrid? I'd be checking it out for sure. Here's a look at Peugeot's Hybrid Turbo Diesel
Now if somebody in North America could devise a stylish 7 passenger, 4000lb trailer towing turbo diesel hybrid? I'd be checking it out for sure. Here's a look at Peugeot's Hybrid Turbo Diesel
Welcome to GentlerAnt
I've just landed on the shores of turning 50. Wow, did that come up fast.
New writing projects are underway for me and there's a lot of discovery going on as part of the research that accompanies developing five projects. I want to share some of that as well as commenting on some of the delight or disdain on subjects as the cross my path.
Welcome. Hop in and c'mon along for the ride.
New writing projects are underway for me and there's a lot of discovery going on as part of the research that accompanies developing five projects. I want to share some of that as well as commenting on some of the delight or disdain on subjects as the cross my path.
Welcome. Hop in and c'mon along for the ride.
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